Positioning Matters

Consider the following scenario:

You have been assigned a high-profile project at work. As you dive in, you determine that you will need additional resources and funding to successfully deliver meaningful results.

How should you ask your boss? Here are some choices:

Choice A: “Do you think it would be possible to secure extra funds for this project? If not, no worries. I’ll do my best to make it work with our current budget.”

Choice B: “I need more money for this project otherwise it will be difficult for me.”

Choice C: “If you don’t give me more money, I’ll find another place that will!”

Choice D: “With additional funding for this project, we can achieve greater impact. This would be an exciting accomplishment for our whole team.

One option should hopefully stand out as the clear winner: Choice D.

How you position your ask can directly impact the outcome. According to the negotiation strategy matrix (see below), D is an example of “I win - You win” positioning. This strategy is effective, compelling, and positive because it demonstrates how the outcome is beneficial for both parties.

Below is a brief guide that can help you establish the right tone so your negotiations don’t veer into losing territory:

Choice A: I lose - You win

      Tone: Hesitant, apologetic, unsure

      Keywords/phrases: I guess, I’m sorry, I think

Choice B: I win - You lose

      Tone: Self-absorbed, demanding, selfish

      Keywords/phrases: Emphasis on the I, me, my, mine

Choice C: I lose - You lose

      Tone: Threatening, upset, emotional

      Keywords/phrases: If you don’t do this…I will…

Choice D: I win - You win

      Tone: Collaborative, positive, clear  

      Keywords/phrases: Emphasis on the we, our, together, team 

With strategies A, B, and C, the other party may dismiss your request or feel reluctant and annoyed meeting your demands. Furthermore, these strategies can erode trust and goodwill between you and the other party, potentially breeding resentment, poor performance, lack of loyalty, and paranoia in the long run.

“I win- You win” negotiations aim to establish buy-in, consensus, and enthusiasm. Beyond the ask, you are conveying how much you value the other party’s input. When the other party feels like an ally in the decision making process, they also feel invested in a positive outcome. And that’s a win for everyone.