Make your win everyone's win
“I would like a raise because the cost of living in this area is so high.”
“I need to work from home because the commute is killing me.”
“I deserve a promotion because I’ve been working my butt off in this role for the past 3 years.”
While I’m a firm believer that we should advocate for what we want, it’s tough to get others to rally behind these types of requests— or as I like to call them, “I win” requests. Not only does the this stance come off as self-absorbed, short-sighted and demanding, it is woefully ineffective in mustering up the enthusiasm and buy-in required to achieve your desired outcome. More importantly, this positioning risks alienating important allies and limiting your options and career growth in the long-run.
We both win
You can however greatly improve the odds of having a productive dialogue around feasible options when you leverage a more optimistic and collaborative approach.
“Would it be possible to attend the upcoming XYZ conference so I can learn skills to improve the way I communicate our team’s updates at our executive meetings?”
“With a senior title I can forge more strategic alliances to push our initiative through.”
It’s much easier to win others over and maintain positive relationships when the “we,” “us” and “our” are clearly emphasized in the proposed arrangement.
Everyone wins
When it comes to negotiating, perhaps my favorite approach is convincing others that your desired outcome is a win for everyone.
“At the conference, I look forward to learning relevant communication skills and sharing my findings with the rest of the team so we can all effectively broadcast our group’s performance.”
“In a more senior role, I look forward to continuing to grow and develop the team so they are empowered with the skills and tools to increase our market share by X% next year.”
An “everyone wins” stance underscores your commitment to the goals of the organization and makes it easier for all parties to justify your request, and view it as a long-lasting and robust solution.
Identifying big wins requires you to take off your blinders and pay close attention to the people and situation around you. Would it make sense to secure more funding or headcount to advance a project? Can you pilot a new process to improve the output or save the organization time and money? Are there professional development resources (e.g. training, conferences or coaching) that the whole team could benefit from? Can you use your “win” to help others by sharing resources, exchanging data and best practices, or advising and providing input?
Conclusion:
Instead of convincing others that the current situation is not working for you, convince them that it’s not working period.
Regardless of your role or the hierarchy, you can model the right kind of leadership by making a case for high impact solutions. This negotiation approach embodies the initiative, compassion and big-picture thinking that can uplift the culture of your organization and get the attention of senior leaders. It is rewarding when everyone in your orbit feels more supported and empowered because of your efforts.
Getting what you ask for is great. But getting what you ask for and leaving behind a positive legacy is even better.