Believing your worth
Dear Nita,
After conducting my market value research, I came up with a target $15K higher than my current salary. However during a recent negotiation, my salary request was rejected and I am now struggling to believe that I actually deserve this higher number. Is my target too optimistic?
-Confused negotiator
Does your confidence in your market value plummet the moment you hear “no?” Do you start to second guess yourself when eyebrows are raised at your proposed number? Do you regret asking for more when the other party decides not to move forward?
While you may feel tempted to hastily lower your target after an unsuccessful negotiation, it’s important to understand that not getting your desired outcome doesn’t necessarily mean that you were asking for something unreasonable. A rejection, negative feedback or lack of response should not discredit a thoughtfully planned negotiation strategy or sound market value research — especially if you are dealing with:
The Wrong Person: It can be futile presenting your ask to someone who is not empowered to make the final decision or willing to connect you to someone who can. Similarly, you probably won’t get very far making your case to individuals with limited knowledge about you or who lack the interest, background and judgment to open doors in your favor.
The Wrong Fit: While your ask makes sense, attempting to secure an opportunity that doesn’t align with your specific background, expertise or goals does not. In certain cases, it may even be a better use of your time and energy to explore other options, instead of trying to resolve conflicting priorities, limited budgets or scarce resources to get your needs met.
That’s not to say of course that every “no” should be dismissed. Some responses are worth paying close attention to, especially if there are valid takeaways which can strengthen your market value and fortify your approach. These types of responses typically include:
Compelling data: The decision maker helps you understand why they can’t accommodate your request by pointing you to valuable information and data you may not have considered previously — for example, updated market numbers, the latest industry trends or visibility into the competitive landscape.
Constructive feedback: The other party doesn’t necessarily disagree with your request, but they may share insightful feedback on how you can improve your approach or achieve a more fitting goal — e.g. Is your ask too short-sighted? Is there a better outcome that would be more strategic to focus on? Should you revisit this ask at another time?
Rejections and unsupportive feedback are all par for the course when advocating for what you want and deserve. The key is understanding when to extract the learning opportunities from the negative noise to make your stance even stronger. This way you go into your next negotiation not just knowing your value, but believing it as well.