How to keep the negotiation alive

After hours of careful planning and preparation, you finally summon up the courage to ask for more.

The response?

A swift and decisive no.

Or maybe you receive some vague, non-committal reply such as:

“Sorry we can’t support your request at this time.”

“Unfortunately that’s not going to be possible.”

“Let’s see.”

Ouch. Whether the rejection is blunt or sugar-coated, you may feel discouraged, frustrated or simply confused about what to do next.

Should you:

A. retreat and just make do with the status quo

B. walk away and explore other options

C. keep the negotiation alive

There are times when options A or B could make sense. But if you feel confident about your case and are not ready to walk away just yet, you may want to consider option C and find a way to keep the negotiation going. Here are three tactics which can infuse some much-needed oxygen and momentum into your stalled efforts:

1. Ditch the original request (for now)

At the start of the negotiation, you likely had a specific number or goal in mind. While starting with an open-ended and collaborative approach established the right tone, given the other party’s lackluster response, it’s time to recalibrate and explore what’s even possible. A great question to ask would be: “As you know my goal is X. Could you please help me understand how we can start to move in that direction?”

Alignment and buy-in are prerequisites for any meaningful advancement. This follow-up question reveals if the other party is still committed to helping you with your goal or if you should change tactics and update your request given the temperature in the room.

2. Come prepared with examples

Even with an open-ended ask, it’s important to be ready with specific details. While the other party may politely entertain your request, they will soon lose interest if the particulars of the proposed arrangement are seemingly unclear or difficult. Your job is to provide compelling data points so the decision maker can visualize how the end goal is achievable, worthwhile, and beneficial for everyone. For example:

• How much more money/resources/headcount/etc. and why?

• Which title/position do you think is appropriate given your experience and goals?

• Which specific growth opportunities (e.g., skills, projects, classes) are you interested in pursuing and why?

• How has your proposed arrangement been successful for other partners and/or competitors?

Details and concrete examples leveraging your market value research, competitive data, success stories, potential benefits and impact can help convince the other party that your plan is the best plan.

3. Offer a hand

Sometimes the person you are asking something from genuinely wants to help but doesn’t have the bandwidth to figure out the details, navigate red tape, find the right people to talk to, or even draft the necessary emails to move your case forward.

If this is the case, take the initiative by offering to do some of the heavy lifting. Meaningful assistance and services could look like:

• summarizing key points and recommendations in an email that the other party can conveniently forward to key stakeholders for buy-in

• providing logistical support (e.g., scheduling meetings, partnering with the decision maker’s admin to handle various processes/paperwork, etc.)

• sending follow up reminders (the occasional ping can be invaluable: “Thank you again for being a great advocate for me as I push for X. Is there anything additional information I can provide to help move this along?”)

If you find your negotiation hitting a wall, don’t feel as though your only option is to throw up your hands and give up. When it comes to advocating for yourself, persistence and creativity are a winning combination that can bring the discussion back to life and ultimately get you where you want to go.