Don't make it personal
My student Jen recently went out to lunch with her coworker Andrew. Andrew was very upset — he had just learned that he wasn’t going to get promoted in the upcoming review cycle. Jen was also frustrated by the lack of growth opportunities on the team and felt sympathy for her friend. That is until Andrew remarked, “I can’t believe after working here for 3 years, I’m still only making $X!”
Jen paused. Andrew was making how much?
Andrew was in fact making a full $9K more than Jen. In Jen’s mind, this difference didn’t make any sense given her higher level of responsibility and longer tenure on the team.
While Andrew continued his rant, Jen found herself distracted by questions racing through her head:
If Andrew is making $X, what is everyone else on the team making?
How is this fair, especially after all my years of stellar performance and loyalty to the team?
Should I confront our boss about this?
When Jen presented this dilemma to me, I could sympathize with her frustration. It’s disheartening to find out that a colleague is making more when you believe you are performing at a similar, if not higher, level. But I recommend thinking carefully before deciding to confront your manager about this seemingly unjust situation. If you start pointing fingers, comparing to others, and sharing your grievances, you may inadvertently antagonize an important ally — your boss.
Your boss may start to wonder:
Am I being accused of not treating my direct reports fairly?
Is my team gossiping and divulging sensitive information to each other? Do I have an uprising on my hands?
If I give into this request, what does this mean for everyone else on the team? Will this make things even more complicated?
To prevent the situation from backfiring, treat this new salary finding as a blessing. Perhaps thanks to a coworker’s big mouth, you are now in possession of a highly relevant data point which you can use to strategically update your market value. You can then meet with your manager and calmly discuss how to update your compensation and role to better reflect your responsibilities and performance. It’s important to stick to your own career development plan — not anyone else’s. Leverage a collaborative outcomes approach and secure alignment as you attempt to achieve your desired result.
At the end of the day, this isn’t about you vs. the Andrews of the world, or you vs. your boss. It’s about forging your own unique path, which reflects your value and worth every step of the way.
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